Know how to refuse, learn to please yourself, is the real wisdom


Writer Bi Shumin said, “Refusal is a right, just like survival is a right.”But in real life, there are still a lot of people do not know how to refuse, do not know how to enjoy this right.Fulfill others, wronged themselves, but also comfort their own good, but I do not know, wishful good eventually live into the eyes of others fool.Because embarrassed to refuse, so, the heart unwilling to be reluctant to those things, finally, to their own Tim a lot of trouble for no reason, also failed to get others’ gratitude, and even get others’ inch.Once or twice of help, it is nothing, but after the number of times, others will feel that you are weak and good at bullying, so, again and again to trouble you, even if occasionally encounter you tough, they will coax you, let you softhearted.At the end of the day, such people are taking advantage of you, of your kindness, of your weakness, and you, by tolerating others, are consuming your own life.We always want to get something from others, maybe praise, maybe recognition, maybe understanding, but in fact, life is their own after all, other people’s opinions in our life has no substantial help.People in this life, should know how to please themselves, let oneself live a little happiness, just do not live up to this trip to the world.Know how to refuse, learn to please yourself, is the real wisdom.Sanmao once warned people: “Don’t be afraid to refuse others if your reasons are justified.Because when a man asks for something, his mind is prepared with two answers, it is to be expected that he will be given either one.”Many people always think that if they refuse, it will make others unhappy, will let the relationship into crisis, so, even if the heart is not willing to refuse others.In fact, the vast majority of rejections do not result in contempt, but in unexpected respect.As for the few who blame you for your refusal, they must be narrow-minded people, they must be malicious people, for such people, there is no need to friendship, because they will not take your friendship seriously.A rejection can cause both of you to rethink your relationship and redefine the distance between you.In the TV series The First Half of My Life, Luo Zijun and Tang Jing’s friendship is regrettable.Before their relationship broke up, Tang jing could have been the best friend, but ironically, the root cause of their broken friendship was tang Jing’s good.Tang Jing is so nice that she agrees with Luo Zijun unconditionally. However, in the end, Luo Zijun has already got used to what she gets from Tang Jing. Even though she knows the other person is Tang Jing’s boyfriend, she still does not hide her heart and her love.In this friendship, Tang Jing fell down because she did not know how to refuse.One has no reason to ask, and one has no bottom line to refuse. Therefore, two people can not see the abnormal changes of this relationship at all. They don’t know where the bottom line of friendship is.Step by step close, cross again and again, until touch the bottom line of each other, this is the last to know.Unfortunately, it was too late.There is a sentence like this in Human Loss: “My misfortune lies in my lack of ability to refuse. I am afraid that once I refuse others, I will leave a permanent rift in each other’s hearts.”It is precisely because the hero Ye Zang does not know how to refuse, he can only wear a mask to behave, wearing a mask to please others, and hide all his emotions behind the mask. Finally, more and more negative emotions accumulate in his heart, and he completely loses enthusiasm for life.But those who have not been rejected, they have not played any positive role in The life of Ye Zang, will only, little by little wear away his hope.In the final analysis, do not know how to refuse, is too care about the eyes of others.But in this world, no matter what we do, there are still countless people who don’t like us, or even smear us behind our backs.Only choose to ignore them, learn to please yourself, live your own life, is the true wisdom.Especially in the workplace.Originally the workload of high load already let oneself be out of breath, but unluckily some people do not know how to refuse the request of colleague, abruptly increase oneself workload.Maybe it is to get the affirmation of colleagues, maybe it is to maintain good interpersonal relationship, so maybe it is to create a good image, do not know how to refuse others, over time, become “good guy”.But why be a “nice guy” in a workplace where we’re supposed to prove our worth?It’s a waste of time and energy, and it doesn’t do any good.Of course, it’s true that we can get ahead in the workplace with the help we need, but it’s really smart to say no to unreasonable requests that will help us grow faster in the workplace.I am Aya, the writer of warm feelings, how lucky I am to meet you in this life!Point a concern, we grow knowledge together!-END- For more content, check out the Aya Healing system

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