Who should Parents Take care of their children?Is it natural for old people to help with childcare?


Today is a story about raising children after another generation.What is the most difficult thing for Chinese pensioners?Maybe it’s the matter of whether or not to help their children with their children.Children work, life pressure, not to help them with the child, it is not the heart, and take children, is also a lonely old man’s emotional needs.It’s even trickier when the elderly have a son and daughter who need their help raising the children.In March 2021, zhang Biyun received a call from her son Wang Junhui in November 2019 asking her and his father to go to Xiamen to help take care of his wife, who was four months pregnant.Zhang Biyun and his wife Wang Zhihua were in Fuzhou, helping their daughter Wang Xia take care of her grandson.The grandson just went to kindergarten, every day, they all went to Xiamen, grandson how to do?After discussing with his wife, Zhang Biyun decided to divide the army into two ways: Zhang Biyun went to Xiamen to take care of his daughter-in-law, while his wife stayed in Fuzhou to take care of her grandson.Zhang Biyun and his wife are ordinary wage earners and have a son and daughter.In 2011, the eldest daughter, Wang Xia, graduated from Fuzhou University with a master’s degree and worked in a foreign-funded enterprise.In the second year after Wang Xia started to work, her younger brother Wang Junhui, who was 6 years younger than her, was admitted to Fuzhou University. Wang Xia, who already had a salary, took the initiative to bear the living expenses of her brother.Wang graduated from university in 2016 and worked as a programmer at a digital company in Xiamen.In the same year, Wang xia married her colleague Qin Yueming.In October 2017, Wang Xia gave birth to her son.Qin yueming’s parents were far away in the countryside of Nanping and were not healthy enough to help take care of their children.When Zhang Biyun and Wang Zhihua retired one after another, Wang Xia took her parents to Fuzhou and helped her look after her son.It is said that the relationship between son-in-law and parents-in-law is better than that between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.Qin Yue is wise and sensible, and has no more requirements for his in-laws on the education of his children.Zhang biyun and his wife get along very well with their daughter and son-in-law.In 2018, Ms. Wang and her husband quit their jobs to set up a tea trading company, leaving almost their entire home to Mr. Zhang and his wife.Wang junhui married Cui Wen, a kindergarten teacher, in August 2019.Cui Wen’s parents are young, and are doing business in other places, it is impossible to take care of the pregnant daughter, Wang Junhui had to call his parents for help…Therefore, Zhang Biyun and his wife made the decision to separate the two places.Wang Xia loves her parents dearly, but considering her brother’s sister-in-law’s feelings, she had to agree.At the end of November, Wang drove to Fuzhou to pick up his mother in Xiamen.The first few days, Zhang Biyun felt cui Wen was relatively polite to her.As the days passed, she began to taste her daughter-in-law’s temper.Zhang Biyun likes spicy dishes, while Cui Wen, who was born on the coast of Southern Fujian province, has a sweet taste.One day to cook dinner, Zhang Biyun cooked a fish, think or put a few pieces of chili, Cui Wen tasted a face displeasure, so spicy, how to eat?Say, the chopsticks on the hand “pa” to throw on the table.Wang Junhui saw that his wife was irritable, so he quickly helped his mother to speak up.Seeing her husband criticizing her, Cui Wen simply refused to eat food. Ah, Wang Junhui, I gave birth to your children, but you treat me as an outsider!Zhang Biyun hurriedly stop son, Junhui, you say less two sentences, I forget xiao Wen does not eat spicy, mother to do a dish for you.Ms. Zhang wept as she cooked.Usually, she was used to having his wife in the side, now, she suddenly separated from his wife, was not used to, but also carefully look at their daughter-in-law’s face, Zhang Biyun felt very oppressed.One weekend in late January 2020, Wang junhui accompanied Cui Wen to the hospital for a pregnancy test, while Zhang Biyun was doing housework at home. She found her daughter-in-law’s boots, which had been drying on the balcony, lying in the hallway at the door of her room. She stuffed Cui Wen’s boots into the shoe cabinet.Cui Wen came back to find the boots were put into the shoe cabinet, immediately angry.She took out her mother-in-law’s shoes and threw them on the floor.Wang Junhui stepped forward to teach, Zhang Biyun quickly pulled him, said a big man to learn to tolerate.Although the contradictions continue, Zhang Biyun did not dare to quarrel with her daughter-in-law, but she still felt that it was good to go back to her daughter’s home in Fuzhou.Three months after zhang Biyun came to Xiamen, she missed her grandson and his wife very much. She told her son privately that she wanted to return to Fuzhou.Wang Junhui knew that his mother was dissatisfied with Cui Wen, but also to ease the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, agreed.Zhang Biyun went back, and Wang Xia talked about his three months in the son’s home situation, Wang Xia comforted his mother, feel sister-in-law is too ignorant.She couldn’t blame Cui Wen, so she called her brother.Wang Junhui for his mother to sister’s heart.In early May 2020, when Cui wen was about to give birth, Wang braved the pressure and called his parents again to ask for help.Although Zhang Biyun and daughter-in-law do not get along, but after all the daughter-in-law to sit in the month, zhang Biyun went to Xiamen again.Cui Wen has given birth to a daughter, and she is more delicate in the month.Zhang Biyun found it difficult to satisfy her daughter-in-law.On one occasion, Zhang Biyun could not help but complain, you this child, how to talk specially choose ugly to say?I’ve never had this kind of anger from your sister’s side, and if you don’t like it, I’m gone!Hearing this, Cui Wen burst into tears and could not be persuaded.Caught in the middle, Wang Junhui often went home in the middle of the night under the pretext of working overtime.In Xiamen, conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law continue.There was trouble in Fuzhou, too.When Zhang Biyun came to Xiamen, Wang Xia and her husband relied on Wang Zhihua to take care of Sun Xiaoxiao and family chores because their business was busy.Before, Wang zhihua was only responsible for picking up and dropping off his grandchildren.Now, wang zhihua, who is in his 60s and not as skilled as his wife in taking care of the children, has to do all the laundry and cooking.After a period of time, Xiao Xiao caught a cold and finally turned to pneumonia. She had to be hospitalized.Xiao Xiao during the hospital, Wang Zhihua is also busy, in the hospital left to take care of.A week later, Xiao Xiao recovery discharged, Wang Zhihua instead of tired out of the disease, also admitted to the hospital.Wang Xia had to call her mother and ask her to return to Fuzhou.Knowing that her husband was ill in hospital, Zhang was very worried. Without consulting her son and daughter-in-law, she bought a train ticket and returned to Fuzhou the next day.Zhang Biyun rushed to the hospital, to see his wife lying in bed, thin a circle, she loved dearly.For the next few days, she made soup and food every day to nourish her husband.Wang zhihua spent several days in the hospital receiving fluids and soon recovered.He urged his wife to return to Xiamen, Zhang Biyun refused.Wang Zhihua wanted to go to Xiamen with his wife to take care of their granddaughter, but she could not put her hands on it.If they all stayed in Fuzhou to help their daughter, it would be difficult to explain to their son.After discussion, they decided to stay with their daughter in Fuzhou and take good care of her grandson, who is in kindergarten. But with their pension, they could hire a nanny to take care of her granddaughter.Zhang Biyun called her and her wife’s idea to tell their son, Wang Junhui and his wife to discuss, Cui Wen after listening to the first word is, your father and mother is biased to your sister.Due to Cui Wen’s picky character, she invited three nannies in succession, but she did not get along well with them and the nannies left one after another.In early September, Zhang biyun was forced to separate from her wife and came to Xiamen alone to help take care of her granddaughter, but her nerves were strained every day.Perhaps she was worried about her wife and her grandson. When she took her granddaughter, Zhang Biyun often nagged her grandson in front of her daughter-in-law.Her mother-in-law’s concern for her daughter’s family made Cui wen feel even more uncomfortable.Cui wen nagged her husband that her mother-in-law was favoring her sister because her sister had a boy while she had a daughter.Wang Junhui found that his mother often nagged him about his sister and brother-in-law’s kindness to her, and how his grandson liked her.At the beginning, Wang Junhui was not at ease, his wife said several times, he also felt that his parents were biased.Because the mother-in-law has emotions, two people’s parenting concept is very different, Cui Wen was angry to her mother-in-law is really no mercy.And the number of times that Zhang Biyun suffers grievance is much, have to make a phone call to complain to his wife and daughter.Every time she received a phone call from her mother, Wang Xia felt like a needle, so she had to call her brother and asked him to talk about his sister-in-law.At noon in late October, Cui choked Zhang after she had another argument with her daughter-in-law about raising their children.Feeling depressed, she called Wang Xia to “complain” and offered to go back to Fuzhou.Wang Xia also don’t know how much injustice her mother suffered in her brother’s home, her mood is also a little out of control, hang up wang Junhui phone after a scolding, how your wife bullied mom all day?You don’t care if you’re still mom’s son!Wang Junhui is very angry, mother all day long know to complain, you do not understand clearly scold me, you nonsense!Before, brother has always been very listen to her words, this was angry with her, Wang Xia blamed, you really have no conscience!If you don’t want to foster parents, call mom back and I’ll take care of her!Wang Junhui thundered, it is you in the middle, or mother would not be like this.After the quarrel, Wang junhui became resentful of his sister, Wang Xia, and his mother.In early February 2021, Zhang biyun finally took advantage of the Spring Festival opportunity to return to Fuzhou to reunite with his wife, daughter and family, and did not want to go back to Xiamen.After the Spring Festival, Wang Junhui called his mother to go back, Wang Xia actually took the phone and said, mom in your side suffer, do not want to go back.Wang Junhui angrily hit back sister, mom how so eccentric to you?Because you had a son!You have the skill!Wang Xia was so angry that she dropped the phone.Zhang Biyun red eyes soliloquize, son married, heart hardened every day.Zhang Biyun refused to go to Xiamen, but Cui Wen had to quit her job as a preschool teacher and stay at home full-time to take care of their children.Wang found a housekeeper in the community to help his wife.In mid-February, the company informed Wang that it would send him to Singapore for a one-month training at the end of March, leaving him worried about his wife and daughter.On the evening of The 22nd, he called his mother again, asking her to come to Xiamen for two months.Wang Zhihua advised his wife to go to Xiamen, Zhang Biyun because distressed son, granddaughter, also a little shaken, but because of the previous unhappy, Wang Xia did not agree with her to go to Xiamen.After the incident, According to Wang Junhui: On the morning of March 27, Wang Junhui went to Fuzhou to pick up his parents before going abroad.After arriving at her sister’s home, Wang Xia told her parents to stay in the bedroom, and they quarreled again in the living room.Wang Xia accused Wang Junhui, you only know to take, which care about mom had not happy?Wang responded angrily, “You treat your parents like unpaid babysitters. Isn’t that selfish?”Wang Junhui got a heavy slap on his left cheek from Wang Xia.The slap wang Junhui impulsively picked up the fruit knife on the coffee table and stabbed wang Xia in the chest four times.Wang Xia let out a scream and fell in a pool of blood.At this time, Zhang Biyun and his wife heard something wrong in the living room and ran out of the bedroom.Wang Junhui knew he had made a disaster and quickly dialed 120.120 doctors came and found that Wang Xia had stopped breathing because she was stabbed in the heart with a knife.Subsequently, Wang Junhui called 110 to surrender.According to forensic analysis, Wang died of respiratory failure and excessive blood loss after being stabbed in the heart artery.Their daughter was killed and their son arrested. Zhang and his wife wept every day.Relatives and friends were devastated when they learned that their misfortunes were the result of their unequal love for their daughter and son.Some old people simply said: if they do not help to take care of a child, nothing will happen.But more old people sigh: how could they not help a family?Does not an old man live to have grandchildren to take with him?In November 2021, a court sentenced Wang junhui to 10 years in prison for intentionally causing death.In order to fight for his parents’ “right to take children”, Wang Junhui actually killed his own sister, sending the family into a very sad situation.In this case, Wang chun-hui asked his mother to take care of his wife when she was pregnant. He loved her dearly, but ignored his parents who were getting old and needed to stay together.In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if he can help his wife to restrain her capricious temper and show more understanding and gratitude to her mother, he can effectively ease the conflict and prevent her sister from holding a grudge against him.Sister is the victim, worthy of sympathy!However, she stood in her own position and her brother launched a “child rights” tug of war, and her brother’s family did not communicate enough, resulting in the conflict finally sharp out of control, regrettably paid the price of life.Here, sincerely hope that the majority of children attach importance to the emotional needs of the elderly, even if they can not do in the side of filial piety, also want to try to care for their parents old to accompany each other, the calm, happy old age back to them.At the same time, it is also hoped that relevant departments can step up efforts to develop socialized services to reduce the pressure on young parents to take care of their children and prevent similar tragedies from happening again.Dear netizens, what do you think of today’s story?Feel free to leave a comment in the comments section.(Names, times and places have been redacted to protect privacy)

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